07 November 2011

or "Word to the Mother" (UNCLASSIFIED)

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO

Good morning.

Today shall be a "2-fer". I'm calling it.

Part 1A: I made a new friend earlier this month. Her name is MOAC...or Mother Of All Coffees (correct, CAPS to designate a proper title).

One of my simple pleasures in life is a super charged coffee, consumed on an empty stomach OR even better on an empty stomach after an awesome workout. Hello everyone, my name is Jason...and I'm an addict.

Directly across the road from my old room was Green Beans Coffee. So close I could smell their baking when I went out to hit the showers. I had seen the posters posted inside the shop and felt a little froggy that morning, so to the nice gentlemen at the counter "I'm doing the MOAC today, my friend" "With cream? Or Black?" "WITH cream". Go big or go home, right? (NOTE: I studied their ingredients the best I could, given my lack of foreign language skills, and it looks like it's packaged relatively fresh full fat cream. BOOM.) MOAC = 24oz "House Café" with 4 Espresso shots. Not too crazy, all in all, but sicker than your average. I choked this thing down like a boss (blah blah "TWSS" I know). I was cranked up like Jason Statham in a horrible movie where I'm pretty sure he pulled the cables off of a telephone pole to kick start his heart device-thing (let it play in your head, the Crue does rock, and you know it). It has become a staple. So much for trying to manage my caffeine. I drank two on the birthday morning (thanks to Wolf), so now that threshold has been breached. Plus the crew at the Bean get to see me every morning, and who would want to deprive them of that? Let's not be so selfish here? Honestly. So, rather than care packages and other random acts of support/appreciation, spread the word about Green Bean Coffee Gift Cards (for specific Soldiers) and Cup of Joe (COJ) donations (for random Soldiers (I've received 3, directly from Golden Baby Jesus, it made my day)) for the upcoming holidays.

http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coffeecard/
http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/

Part 1B: Old Spice Fiji deodorant is labeled "Smells like palm trees, sunshine, and freedom". Just in case you aren't familiar with that particular blend, it also smells deliciously similar to Tropical Starburst. My gut says "boo hiss" but my nose says "oh that's swell, more please". All part of my plan to lead the Sweet-Toothed Grandes on a "March For Life" game of follow the leader. Gather round my pits and smell your new master. Off we step toward a new less-sloppy you.

Part 1C: The arrival of our main body of travelers is quickly approaching and we are very eager to receive them (right, TWSS again, got it). As all of us (read: me and the 4) observe and learn the personalities here, we have been war gaming the counterpart link ups and which will be the most interesting to watch. It's been a fun game thus far, and I'm sure that actuality will be even more entertaining than speculation. First up on the list is the Headquarters & Headquarters Company Commander matchup. It's going to be great. Not so much "OMG Lebron and D-Wade showing their 2nd place talents in South Beach" but more [Editor's Note: Sitting here staring at the computer, hamster motoring on the wheel, and nothing. Couldn't think of anything respectable. Fail.] Second on the list is the Communications NCOIC (Non-Commissioned Officer In Charge AKA Sergeant in Charge) spot. I'll reserve my descriptions of the individuals involved, for safety, but trust me it will be most excellent. Finally, not necessarily a counterpart linkup, but a mentor relationship. The Brigade Command Sergeant Major, Sword 7, head-to-head with the Forward Support Company First Sergeant, Animal 7. I vote for a ice-grill stare down contest, to the death. First to blink eats lead. That's how they do. I'll see if I can spin the Public Affairs angle to get pictures of these Soldiers together. I'm not sure if identifying images will change the game on this, but I'll roll the dice.

One down. More to follow. Check back regularly and hit refresh. Deuces.
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO

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