It's been a "hot minute" since my last language rant. Don't fret, my pets. The public doesn't learn, and I won't let you down.
...and our agenda for this evening:
1. "Your guys'"? "Your guyses"?
2. "Onesies, Twoesies, Threesies"
*BONUS* "Sirs": The Durty South REMIX
1. Rampant amongst all ranks, ages, and educational backgrounds. Consistent "acrost" (another creative inbred use of...some language) functional areas, cultural spheres, and regional dialects. "When your guys' weapons arrive..." "Where did you get your guyses ISAF patches?" "When you get the chance, could you roll up a count of your guises (sp?) Non-Tactical Vehicles, and shoot it to me in a spreadsheet, please?"
How does your brain allow your mouth to form such an abomination? Go outside and get a switch. Go right now.
2. I sh*t you not. Two weeks ago, my colleague, partner, and I'd say "friend" (verifiable, in the Facebook sense) uttered (something along the lines of) "They may operate in onesies, twosies. Potentially twosies, threesies." I felt ill. I'm not even quite sure how to appropriately type out "threes-ease"? "Threezies"? "Onesies, twosies" is sufficiently horrible, and until that moment, I'll be real honest with you right now, I had never really conceptualized "3'sies". Absurdity-cherry popped and mind blown. It combines what we refer to as "Baby Baby Talk" and regular, singular, "Baby Talk", and then opens the valve on the vat of ridiculous, flooding the entire valley of Professionalism. "Our forces will fast-rope onto the rooftops, Spider-drop in through the second floor windows, and use stun grenades to disorient all enemy combatants, at which point we will engage with controlled fire to neutralize the massed threat. We will react to the ONESIES, TWOSIES that may remain, as they present themselves." I'm sorry, could you repeat that last part? I think what I just heard you say, was...
Just as a little bonus for you to chew on as you go about your day (or night; bedtime pride in 'Merican education). One of the units that fall within our Task Force, and live/work within our same area, are from Louisiana. I really do love the South, and folk from the South. They come out with some of the best lines and funniest comments I've ever heard. Ever. They are currently leading the league here, with a batting average of 1.000, with the employment of the term "Sirs". "Sirs" is defined as: two or more persons, that individually would be addressed as "Sir", only veiled with that Southern flavour (Yup, the extra "u". NOLA NOLA boi, Who Dat?!) of "Awww naww, don't go an' be mad at him, Sirs. He don't know no better." I understand, it's just like Spanish, just plop an "s" on the end. To their credit, I have yet to hear "Ma'ams" attempted. One can only dream.
Had enough? Me neither. Be better. Tomorrow is your chance.
The K
Now K since you are a stickler, a batting average is only 3 digits so it would be batting .100 which is pretty miserable or batting a thousand (1.000) which is perfect. ;)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. I can count up to a billion-sies. Also, it's Dirrty South. Also-sies, next post should be written with your grill in. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnother fan favorite is "yous guys" I hear people say that all the time at work and it is like nails on chalkboard!
ReplyDeleteSean, good catch. Editing powers, ACTIVATE.
ReplyDeleteJamie, correct, billion-sies, fair enough, and agreed. You're welcome.
Jennifer, ugh "yous"? In LA? I say call them out. It's like making friends...in reverse.
Big Movember post coming up...stay tuned...
Haters gonna hate.
ReplyDeleteYous peoples is funny..
ReplyDeleteK - great post but I think I need to find a more private space to read your entries since I don't think it's appropriate to laugh out loud in the learning while surfing the web... or is it?
When I stop being a bitch (specifically regarding my internet speed) I'll drop a couple of solid ones.
P.S. – don’t be hattin’ on my (,) replacing (-).
Out from BAF, SON!