Create a “Dope Emails” folder in your inbox

Step 2: Drag this email into your "Dope Emails" folder. Lock the folder permanently. OK, now go enjoy a couple beers, your work here is done. JAMBO! And welcome to another edition of FRIDAY — that supes dupes badassica end-of-the-work-week thing we celebrate here at Chubbies HQ by sending you a bunch of Weekend-related awesome that'll make you be all "Whoa, look at all this Weekend-related awesome Chubbies just sent me." In case you hadn't heard, this Sunday is Easter, which means 1) brunch, and 2) ... EASTER KEG HUUUUUUUUUNT!!!!! Yeah, that's right, it's like an Easter Egg Hunt, except... with Kegs, which are better than Eggs pretty much any way you look at it. YOU HAD ME AT EASTER KEG PLEASE SAY THERE'S A VIDEO OF YOU PLAYING THIS, CHUBBIES, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M JUST HERE TO CLICK THINGS Uhhhh, what's with all of the GIFs of Bob's River Place, the greatest waterpark in America that no one's heard of? Is it finally open again for the end of Spring season? IT IS??? WELL WHAT'RE WE WAITING FOR? LET'S FRIGGIN' GO. I'M STILL JUST HERE TO CLICK BUTTONS And finally: The turtle shell isn't gonna fire itself, guys, maybe give Luigi a lil' help? REVERSE-JAMBO, - Grant and the Thights of the Round Table     Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 2720 Taylor St, Suite 310 • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.

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NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Pick a Number Between 1 and 1,000,000 Got it? Good.  Now tweet it or post it on Instagram with the hashtag #chubnumber and then check out our Snapchat (@chubbiesshorts) and Instagram (@chubbies) on Monday — we'll post the winning number on one of those. Whoever posts the correct number first gets a free pair of shorts.  - Garrett "The Quadtimidator" Payne and the rest of the Chubbies Fam     ​Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.

Well Well

what have we here? Oh, just the greatest, most weekend-kicking-off email you've ever opened in your entire life. THAT is what we have here. There is no Weekend connection   Try: Checking to see if you have shorts on Throwing your computer out the window Plugging in the margarita machine Clicking this link which will BLOW YOUR FRIGGIN' MIND   ERR_WEEKEND_DISCONNECTED   PS: Find a computer, turn off the WiFi, open a Chrome web browser, and head to entertainment.chubbiesshorts.com — you should get the little dinosaur above and a message about not having an internets connection. Click the dinosaur with your cursor, hit spacebar, and prepare to have the least productive/most funnest Friday ever. ~ Thighme Warner Cable                           Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.

RIGHTY THEN

excuse me sir do you have a mint? perhaps some Binaca? alllllllllllllllllllll right theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Good morrow, countrymen and countryladies, lend me your beers. And then lend yourself some beers, too, and immediately duck outta whatever responsibilities you've got today because 1) SWEET 16, and 2) you gotta start planning your trip to the world's largest pool: Which you just now started planning because, again, WORLD'S LARGEST POOL. It's 3/5 of a mile long and holds 66 million gallons of water. AND YOU CAN SAIL IN IT AND IT HAS HOT TUBS ON DOCKS AND THERE'S AN INFLATABLE TRAMPOLINE Spring is sprung, which means snow is about to go buh-bye. But thanks to North America's tallest sand dunes and a little something called SANDBOARDING, that doesn't mean your winter shredding equipment has to follow it into hibernation. WAIT... SANDBOARDING?? ALSO, WHERE ARE NORTH AMERICA'S TALLEST SAND DUNES??? AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUTTONS IN THIS EMAIL???? A big ol' chub-bump to Brandyn Lorenz who's leading the Chubster Nation brackets and still in the hunt for a free pair of the thigh-emancipators of his choice after 1.25 weekends. And finally, the first one to snap or tweet a screenshot of the logo perfectly in a corner of the most frustrating screensaver in the history of mankind wins! What do you win? Something! Oh, and don't forget to click if for a special surprise... I was blind, But now I see, Your shorts should fall, Above the knee,   Grant, Dave "My Soccer Team Just Won An Intramural Soccer Championship" Wardell, and the rest of H-Cue   Side Note: My colleague Phil happened to choose Maryland to win the NCAA Tournament. So. Yeah. Console him here.   Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.