or "My New Year's Revolutions"

It is 31DEC already. Tight. Here is what I'd like to do. NY's resolutions:

1. Update the blog more often
2. Sleep a lot more
3. Continue doing what I normally do

Also, here is a video tour, for your pleasure:

Cheers to everyone. Bang that bubbly for me.  I'll double up for 2013.


The K

or "Pick up the Pace, dude"

Things are getting real out here, real fast. There haven't been posts for some time, and this is an attempt to show you my day today (which is fairly typical), to justify:

 

0500 - Wake Up, shower, shave

0600 - Giant coffee AKA "the MOAC"

0630 - Breakfast, hopefully not to go, I hate that

0700 - Construction Update Sync Meeting

0800 - Daily Commander's Update Brief

0830 - Working Group of sorts (today was Combat Effects)

1000 - WG complete

1145 - Lunch

1330 - Briefing, by my boss, to his boss. I worked the presentation a lot in the last week, plus I assist in the brief, if my intermediate boss isn't able to call in

1545 - Gym break (not typical): Killed Rows/Deadlifts/Box Jumps/Sprints

1830 - Dinner

1930 - Internal Construction Sync Meeting

2000 - A chance to catch up on the 40 emails I got since I checked last, around 1800

2130 - Phone call with the boss to coordinate the next day priorities

2220 - Next thing you know "Holy crap, it's late. 0500 comes quick"

2230 - Back to my room, brush teeth, collapse

0500 - Alarm, repeat

 

I've got a few in draft form from the beginning of the month, and many more to come. Just need more hours in the day.

 

Thanks for sticking with it.

 

The K

High Speed Like The Space Shuttle Challenger

Secret Squirrel here.

This week's pass phrase: Bass to Trout.

Mission of the week: Operation: Get Brown People.

Good evening Squirreliteers. You're favorite high energy, slightly spastic, super spy here. This week I've been trying to get some of the local, multilingual, sand people out across the battlefield so they can help our boys coordinate with the Host Nation forces.

This went about as smooth and gentle as wiping with toilet paper made out of razor blades. If anyone ever tells you that working with contractors is easy, punch them in the throat, because this person is probably out to kill you or at very least defecate on your dreams. Long story short, I said "I need this many people here, by this time," and they said "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you because my butt cheeks are acting as ear muffs right now".

Oh well, if incompetence wasn't rampant on the battlefield how would a terribly under-qualified, inexperienced person make 6 figures a year off the labor of under-privileged, under-paid, locals? God bless 'Merica.

In other news:

Under the guidance of Jedi Knight K I've started eating paleo. Giving up bread, eating deliciously helpless animals, and cutting back on delicious compressed chemicals. However this last week I showed the willpower of Lindsey Lohan at a frat party when it came to eating sweets. Unfortunately a contributor to this is that my folk's idea of nutrition is diet scotch and low fat cup of noodles, so while I enjoy the generosity of their care packages, they are more likely to kill me in the long run than an IED. That being said I got some bad ass socks which I'm fairly sure repels ninjas. So far this theory has held up.

That being said I'm back on the kick after donating all the candy and crude to our Chaplin's Free Store (The Agape Store for future reference). By giving away my candy and snacks I'll take away that temptation and with some luck the other's will eat it and grow weak, making them easier to prey upon.

That's all for now. Until next time, stay squirrelly.

or "I see your blade is a little dull, and rusty. Please leave your keys on the dresser"

We were all excited about the prospect of a "CrossFit Gym" here at FOB Sharana. "Oh cool, the brigade (our higher headquarters) runs it?" Even better. "We'll totally be fire-breathing, sweat-angel bros". Welp, not so much.

 

This morning we (Me, BNC, PiNk, and JMiahW) went down to the "box" for a 0600 WOD. I had made some contacts during various blah blah blah sessions, and we got to talking about workouts and this and that. "Yeah M-W-F mornings we do workouts lead by so-and-so, and then the other days we either make up our own workouts or run. You should come down." I was a little excited, I'll be honest.  Let's all bond through some ass-kicker workout and become better for it (twinkles in my eyes and rainbow-glitter shooting from my backside). Cali Lovefest.

 

I talked these other guys into rolling out of their warm beds at "O-dark, go F-yourself, in the cold morning" (a highly technical Army term, you might not need to know about). We stroll down there, really cold, into the unknown.

 

Picture it like, you work at a big corporation where your managers and VP's are always tasking and criticizing and nagging, but that is inherently your relationship with them. Everything is cordial, but there is tension. One Friday, you LMFAO-shuffle up to a house party on Abbot Kinney to blow off steam from the workweek with your mind set on getting extra weird. You actually say "You guys ready to get weird, or what?" You Usher-C. Breezy glide through the kitchen, grab some sort of delicious beverage to drizzle, and make your way towards the back patio. You slide the glass door open and step through...and almost drop your beer.  Whoa, it's your boss, and she's playing beer pong. Say wha-wha-what? You do this too? But you're...

 

We strolled in, chilled by the weather, but comfortable with the surroundings.  We have been working out there for a few weeks now, just mostly at night, on our own. The reception upon our entry chilled us even further. No "hey, what's up?" No "oh cool, you guys came". No "good morning, do you guys want to jump in with us?" Or "what are you all trying to do this morning? So we can split things up." Zero. It was straight up Middle School dance. "So, ahh, we'll just be over here in the corner, doing...something else."

 

Basically, the opposite of CrossFit culture.

 

I've read of, heard of, talked about boxes that impose a penalty (usually burpees of some variety) for not introducing yourself to new members/visitors. This was concentrated weaksauce, cascading over the cold shoulder of our "teammates".

 

We warmed up, did our thing (Overhead Squats, without the rack, a little Mobility work, and a few Turkish Get Ups), and then headed towards breakfast. We made sure to give a shout out to the remaining two Soldiers who came in towards the end. "Later guys, have a good one. Kill it."

 

Here was the highlight of the whole ordeal: As we are warming up, PiNk walks over to them, outgoing and approachable as he is, and comes at their (obvious) leader/coach with "Hey, cool lifting shoes bro. <short slightly awkward pause for effect>, I'm PiNk, from TF Mad Dog." The corner of my mouth curled up into a delighted Grinch-like smile. the response his greeting received all but sealed the deal for us "I'm <robotically state my impressive full formal military title and position>." "Oh, good morning Sir. So are you going to lift heavy this morning?" "Grumble grumble grumble" annnnnnnd, we're about done here. Least welcoming introduction ever, successful.

 

So, moral of the story is: Though I've heard that you want to open your own CrossFit affiliate when you get back to where ever you're from (South Grumpytown, in the County of Poopypants, apparently), your application has been denied. This was a test, and you failed, F-. We workout away from the peacock/rooster parade at the main gym, congested with mirror-flexing and shirt-lifting ab admiration, partial range of motion, glove-wearing, elliptical-machining stuff we dislike, so that we can be amongst our own. Those who are united and connected through the goal of optimal performance, health, longevity, achievement and community.

 

Don't worry, if you all come through in the evening, we'll welcome you in. Damn, we might even change the programming to accommodate your numbers, just so everyone can be involved. We'll gladly share, and listen.

 

"Elite Fitness", we're "Forging" it, not hoarding it.

 

Goodnight.

Due Outs

I've been all over the place lately.  Here is what I owe y'all in the next few days:

1. A summary of our "combat patch ceremony"
2. The grand finale of Movember
3. My first trip "out of the wire" with video from the helicopter

Keep it real up in the field, aaaaaaight!

The K