RIGHTY THEN

excuse me sir do you have a mint? perhaps some Binaca? alllllllllllllllllllll right theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Good morrow, countrymen and countryladies, lend me your beers. And then lend yourself some beers, too, and immediately duck outta whatever responsibilities you've got today because 1) SWEET 16, and 2) you gotta start planning your trip to the world's largest pool: Which you just now started planning because, again, WORLD'S LARGEST POOL. It's 3/5 of a mile long and holds 66 million gallons of water. AND YOU CAN SAIL IN IT AND IT HAS HOT TUBS ON DOCKS AND THERE'S AN INFLATABLE TRAMPOLINE Spring is sprung, which means snow is about to go buh-bye. But thanks to North America's tallest sand dunes and a little something called SANDBOARDING, that doesn't mean your winter shredding equipment has to follow it into hibernation. WAIT... SANDBOARDING?? ALSO, WHERE ARE NORTH AMERICA'S TALLEST SAND DUNES??? AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUTTONS IN THIS EMAIL???? A big ol' chub-bump to Brandyn Lorenz who's leading the Chubster Nation brackets and still in the hunt for a free pair of the thigh-emancipators of his choice after 1.25 weekends. And finally, the first one to snap or tweet a screenshot of the logo perfectly in a corner of the most frustrating screensaver in the history of mankind wins! What do you win? Something! Oh, and don't forget to click if for a special surprise... I was blind, But now I see, Your shorts should fall, Above the knee,   Grant, Dave "My Soccer Team Just Won An Intramural Soccer Championship" Wardell, and the rest of H-Cue   Side Note: My colleague Phil happened to choose Maryland to win the NCAA Tournament. So. Yeah. Console him here.   Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.

Bueller?

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Wait. Why is the Weekender getting sent on a Wednesday? Oh, that's right, because tomorrow is MARCH MADNESS and Friday is MARCH MADNESS and ST. PATRICK'S DAY, which means you're getting super, duper sick right now (*COUGH*COUGH*COUGH*) and probably aren't gonna be able to make it to work/school/your-sister's-rehearsal-dinner for the next two days. Instead, you're gonna be: 1) Renting an inflatable pub for St. Patrick's Day Yes, we said pub. And yes, the ENTIRE THING inflates. And also has blow-up fireplaces, and wood beams, and windows, and chimneys, and basically everything you'd expect a pub to have in inflatable form. CLICK ME I'M IRISH 2) Watching us pour a Guinness with a way-too-complicated Rube Goldberg machine On the fence about this one? What if we promised you Grant gets seriously injured during it and lights the rug on fire with sparklers? THOUGHT SO 3) Entering the official Chubster Nation March Madness Bracket Challenge Two things you need to know: 1) If you get a perfect bracket we'll give you free shorts for a year, and 2) the highest scoring bracket submitted by Chubster Nation period will receive a free pair of shorts (or swimsuit) of their choosing. TAKE ME TO THE BRACKET 4) Trying to finish 10 corndogs, 100 tater tots, and 10 beers while watching 12 hours of college hoops Why would you try to do that, and what does it have to do with you winning a YEAR SUPPLY OF FREE CORNODGS??? THIS BUTTON KNOWS DID WE MENTION YOU COULD WIN A YEAR SUPPLY OF CORNDOGS? OH WE DID? OK, COOL. Whoever submits the worst bracket from HQ has to wear long baggy cargo shorts on Mondays for a month. Lot on the line here people, lot on the line. Love, And Basketball, - The Chubstars   Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.

TLDR - NEW TRUNKS; MUCHO FIRE

Plus, The Neon Lights and Glades are back ......................... WE HAVE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS.  Skills that we've acquired over a very long career. Skills that make us a nightmare to boring swim suits.  Alright Chubster Nation, I'll level with you, I've never been so inclined to buy a pair of swim trunks. These are personal favorites of mine. When I saw these I marched straight upstairs and told the Product Team, "you crazy for this one."  So you know what, screw it, I'm clicking this link right now and gettin' mine. Better yet, I'm gunna make my own button, and then I'm gunna click that button, and then I'm gunna get the dopest trunks we've made to date. Nobody else is allowed to click my button. I've got this thing linked up to Google Analytics so I WILL KNOW IF YOU PUSH MY BUTTON. DO NOT PUSH MY BUTTON.  Not digging the Aquatic Libations (YOU CRAZY), fine - more for me - lots more new fire on the site today.... feast your eyes below.  THEYYYYYYYYY'RE BACKKKKKKK BIG NEWS. The Neon Lights - our fastest-EVER-selling swim trunks are BACK, alongside our second-fastest-selling-EVER trunks The Glades. Oh - what's that you say? You have a lady friend and you guys want matching swim suits? Well perfect, because we've got you covered.  this email is fulla shirt. we get it, sometimes mom insists you "wear a shirt" to the dinner table. for those occasions we made these. for those of you who eat dinner with Mom > 3x per week, save yourselves some scrilla on these bundles. I hate to harp on this but if I found out you clicked my button, and then I click my button, and the fricken mediums are sold out so help me... ~ Mason "I Will Find You" Robinson and Other People Who Like Party. SHORTS SWIM TOPS LADIES The Snap The App The Text Sent from Chubbies Shorts 430 Pacific Ave San Francisco, CA 94133 ​Never wanna hear from us again? Dang, that's harsh, but if you must, you can unsubscribe here.