Shall Not Pass

Wait no, that was the other guy. You're good, head right in to 'let's get the weekend party started' central. Oh, hi. Welcome back to the weekend. Can I get you a sombrero full of nachos? Or maybe FIVE THINGS THAT'LL GET YOU SUPER JACKED UP FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, INCLUDING... 1. Eight variations on the game Wizard Staff Because why play Wizard Staff when you can play WIZARD NUNCHUCK? >>> OR WIZARD FLAIL MACE? >>> OR WIZARD NINJA STARS?? 2. A water slide that goes through A FREAKING SHARK LAGOON And don't worry, they can't break the clear acrylic tube you're in. >>> RIGHT GUYS? THEY CAN'T, CAN THEY? GUYS? GUYS??? 3. IKEA-style instructions for how to turn a keg into a BBQ We call it: the Bar-B-Keg. >>> EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANNA BUILD ONE, THESE INSTRUCTIONS ARE GONNA WIN A PULITZER PRIZE SO MAYBE FLIP THROUGH THEM? 4. The planet's first Pond Skimming World Champion His name is Errol Kerr. >>> WAIT, WHAT'S POND SKIMMING? >>> I KNOW WHAT POND SKIMMING IS, BUT WHO'S THIS KERR GUY? AND DID I HEAR YOU GUYS DID AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH HIM?? >>> HONESTLY GUYS, I JUST WANNA SEE A MONTAGE OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN COSTUMES CRASHING WHILE POND SKIMMING 5. Another Edition of Chubster Nation Photos of the Week(end) Complete with lost beers, talking dogs, and inflatable Disney characters. >>> CLICKING HERE = GIVING A HIGH-FIVE TO CHUBSTER NATION >>> I'LL HAVE AN ORDER OF SPICY NEW WEEKEND JAMS, HOLD THE BANGERS Scroll up or down on your phone to stop the Chubbies Excuse Generator. Then click Bill Lumbergh for a special surprise...   Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.