22 October 2011

fueling the comedy fire

im not a funny person by myself. come to think of it you probably arent either. and if you do make yourself laugh while your alone you are probably a little mental. anyways i work in a submarine(notional). I stare at computer screens(real world). [parenthesis (inside joke)]. but fortunately for me i am surrounded by many unasumming clowns. every sentence scrutinized for comedy. every choice of words looking for one wit of humor. for in my cubicle world that is the only relief we have.
here are a few tricks:
1. use the phrase" thats what she said" after everything.
2. look for any and every character flaw then exemplify it (as long as it gets a laugh and isnt to hurtful it helps grow thick skin and build character)
3. crack jokes during moments others are trying to be serious.
4. repeat things that people clearly explain to you like you dont understand. i.e. they say "do not put paper in the trash, it must be shredded!" (pregnant pause) then you say "so, what about paper can i just put that in the trash" bonus points if in group must be said with serious face.
5. step by step:drink one gallon of coffee mixed with 1 quart of milk, try and sit still and stare at a computer screen in a quiet brightly lit room, wait 3 minutes, now, everytime anyone says anything say the first thing that pops into your mind, turns out anyone can be pretty funny after that. (or they think your crazy)
the lights, the recirculated air, the hum of bullsh*t producing computers, thats when you know youve really made it. im living the dream!
PiNk

1 comment:

  1. Current champion best line: "I think they might put you on the Night Shift." "So...are there any other hot guys on that shift?"

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