You're awesome.

If anyone deserves to have the best weekend of all time, it's definitely you... What have we here? Is it, an actual, real-life CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE? You bet your 5 1/2-inch inseam it is... It's Friday, you just left work, and are on your way to happy hour when a guy holding a machete sprints past you and down an alley. You catch up, peer down the alley, and there he is, hacking through a horde of… what the… it can't… ZOMBIES? You reach into your pocket for your phone to call the authorities and… wait, what's this? You find a delicately folded piece of paper that looks like a… 300-year-old TREASURE MAP?? Just as you're about to decipher the map key someone knocks you to the ground from behind. You slowly get up and turn back to see… JOHNNY UTAH??? He tells you he needs your help on a secret surf mission. Whoaaa. To hand the treasure map to Keanu, pick up a lead pipe near your feet, and go try to thwart the zombie apocalypse, CLICK HERE To convince Johnny to help machete guy fight the zombies so you have enough time to deciper the treasure map, CLICK ​HERE To light the map on fire and throw it toward the zombies — that should buy machete guy time — and say "OK Utah, I'm in," CLICK ​HERE   Sent from Chubbies Shorts • 430 Pacific Ave • San Francisco, CA 94133 Hate weekends? Well that sucks, and we'd hate to see you go, but if you must, unsubscribe here.